Do not let her think worse of me than I deserve,—or even so ill. He was a man who in all things classified without nuance, and for him there were in the matter of age just two feminine classes and no more—girls and women. ’ The full story—or as much as Gerald knew—of Valade’s machinations shocked the old lady so much that she was obliged to recruit her strength with a refill from the Madeira decanter. She looked in the glass over and over as she checked for lint and makeup streaks. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. Even as a child she observed how men were haunted 18 by the presence of her mother. He paused at the bamboo curtain of her room, which was in semi-darkness. " So saying, he violently shut and locked the door.
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